I always cringe when know-it-all parents ”instruct” their kids on the mechanics of the golf swing. Terms like “swing more inside-out” or “maintain that angle of attack” will never resonate with with children, no matter how nice you are.
So imagine my dismay when I ran into this jerk at the driving range the other day…
He shows up with a bluetooth appliance stuck in his ear and two young kids in tow; a boy around nine or 10 and a cute little girl no older than six.
Before they kids can even tee one up, he starts in on them: With his finger pointing, he says “you have to take your time and practice. You can’t just whack ‘em. Once these balls are gone, I’m not buying you any more. You need to do exactly what I say.”
And it went downhill from there.
Most parents who try teaching their kids are misguided, but well-meaning. They truly want their kids to succeed. But there was nothing well-meaning about this guy. He took bad advice — and bad parenting — to an entirely new level.
“What’s that position? Did I tell you to do that? NO! You do exactly what I say, and nothing else.”
“You gotta get your arms up here. NO, not like that. Like this. Now do it! Turn your hips!”
“This isn’t baseball. That’s not right! You can’t hit the ball like that! What’s wrong with you? You’re not listening.
On and on it went.
Yikes. Just let the poor kids hit the ball! I’ve never been so tempted to stick my nose in someone else’s business. I actually had to pick up and move to the other end of the range.
My friend Andy Heinly, who has coached kids for 20 years, says he deosn’t even worry about the grip with kids that age, much less mechanics of the swing.
“With kids, it should never be about mechanics. You just want them to feel the motion of the golf swing and the joy of impact. They love to make contact with the ball, who cares how they do it!”
It needs to be a playful, stress-free experience for kids. Unfortunately, most of them don’t have the best role models for that. They see the tour pros on TV, in serious, U.S. Open grinding mode. They watch their dads getting frustrated and foul-mouthed on the course. And that’s what they learn.
When my kids were little their favorite activity was simply riding in the cart and hitting balls into the water hazards. (There’s something magically enticing about that splash.) We also hit those yellow, dense foam balls around the neighborhood and even in the house. We also played putt-putt whenever possible.
Teaching kids takes a gentle, restrained touch.
That’s what kids need to develop a love for the game, not penance on the driving range.
The odds of those kids becoming life-long golfers are pretty much nil. Even if that guy knew what he was talking about mechanically, his approach was still inappropriate, to say the least.
My 15-year-old son loves the game, and I’m thrilled about that. But he still won’t listen to any advice about his golf swing. Imagine how that guy’s kids are going feel after years of lecturing and browbeating.
Here’s another example that I’ve encountered this year. We’ll call him Duck, because he stands with his feet splayed outward, like a bowlegged duck. Combine that with a grip that’s light years beyond “strong” and a swing flatter than a swedish pancake, and what do you get?
A natural born teacher!
Every time he hits a bad shot he seems completely baffled, as if his horrific mechanics have never failed him in the past. And the sad part is, that little man taught his wife to play with the same, fundamentally flawed grip and the same, super-flat swing. Ironically, she executes it better than he does.
The point is, if you’re thinking of teaching your kids or your wife to play golf, be very careful what you say. Even if you’ve memorized Hogan’s Five Lessons, chances are, you’ll do more harm than good if you start analyzing swing mechanics. Even PGA teaching pros have a dismal record of success.
So back to that dad on the driving range… Forget-About-It!
The best thing he could do for his kids is just shut up. Stop with the helicopter parenting and let them have a little fun. He’s obviously taken the play out of golf for himself, let’s just hope it’s not too late for his kids.
